Ponder Anew

“ There’s no glory in war.” Lots of people have said it, but it was a long lesson for me, the very imaginative daughter of a soldier, to learn. I rallied at the idea of a fight, was thrilled by opposition. I imagined myself a paladin kneeling before the lord, having vanquished metaphorical dragons. Mormon was my hero because there was something irresistibly Romantic about being the last individual standing for truth. Then, one day, I reached for the thrill of the fight and felt nothing, only exhausted and sad. I told my dad on the phone, “I used to get all excited about the fight for good, and now I’m just tired.” He, a retired army chaplain who knows a lot about both the literal and figurative subject, simply chuckled said something along the lines of, “That’s war.” It dawned on me that that is war. It’s tiring, painful, lasting, and generally not fun. Then, recently, as I’ve come to better understand God’s love for his children, I’ve seen how little of the battle is in my ...

Hey, so I want to talk about something that’s pretty sacred to me, so I’m not sure if I want to share, but I think it could be very important to people who need a hope in miracles and healing, signs of God’s love, faith in a trial, and a knowledge that you are not alone. So, I’m sharing anyway, but you know, take it seriously I guess. I don’t know if this part is relevant or not, but I get a little too deeply involved with my concern for other people and sometimes internalize their problems in an obsessive manner. There was one summer where I was very distressed about some people’s souls, and it led me to being distressed about my own, and I asked God that I would never fall away, never leave him. Anyway, in 2017, I completed my student teaching. It was the happiest three months of my life. I was utterly lost in service, staying after school for several hours literally just to bring up a single student’s grade sometimes. I was living for those children--but that also meant they took up...

Lord, I see you, Lord, I love you but my mind’s in the dark Yet I know you won’t forget me since your hands bear the mark They say this pain will go away, that this too shall pass When my soul is in pieces, You can unshatter the glass I felt all your love —that you see where I am but in the desert, I’m wandering blind in the swirl of this sand I know you know my pain that you been there too but when I can’t see what’s coming, Lord, please carry me through Hold me tight, Lord, I’m crying and I’m falling apart Lord your arms are the glue that is holding my heart They say this pain will go away, that this too shall pass When my soul is in pieces, You can unshatter that glass     I got to trust in your timing I’ve only got half the view, if not now I’ll hold on, let you do what you do When I think I can’t bear it but you know that I can, help me trust in the outline of your flaw...

“Vice is a monster of so frightful mien As to be hated needs but to be seen; Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face, We first endure, then pity, then embrace.” — Alexander Pope  So, I don’t know how I feel about Pope overall (I like him better than Milton as poets go, #18thcforthewin), but I love this part of “An Essay on Man” which was quoted in conference a while back. I feel like Scott said something similar…probably in Ivanhoe . (I might rant on it in another vein some other day). The point is, society had lots of good ills, but when we normalize the ills, we do no one good and only pave the way for things to get worse. Lately, I’ve seen numerous people with similar values to me, encourage behavior that contradicts everything they stand for. They usually do this in the name of “love,” but it always strikes me as hypocrisy. They believe one thing but support another. Surprise! You can support a person without supporting immoral or even generally negative...

One of my pet-peeves (aka reminders of the charity I lack) is when people make derisive comments about “key-finding” prayer stories, stories where people pray for something small and testify of how it's answered. Usually, this criticism is followed by a list of all the terrible things happening in the world. (Why would God do ___ when ___ is happening?) They say it as if they know better, as if their God is limited and such experiences make him sound wish-washy about who he helps and when. But here’s the deal: God loves you. I say it a lot, and I have no idea how to get it across in any other way. HE. LOVES. YOU. Literally nothing else is going to make any sense until you get that. When you do know it, it’s amazing. It becomes the core of everything you believe. The one great truth. So, with that in perspective, why the heck would he not give you the opportunity to learn that for yourself? When you’ve felt that love and see it’s magnificence, why would...

*Note: Questions are fine, good, and healthy, but faith comes first Social media can be a perfectly horrible pit to fall into, but, sometimes, it hides wisdom. My favorite line of this week was: "I stay in church for the Eucharist." I love that sentiment, and this post is over. The end. Ok, obviously kidding, but I still really love that idea. (Catholic Twitter has become my new favorite thing.) "But, Mary," you might be thinking, "you aren't Catholic." Indeed, I am not, nor will I ever become Catholic. However, I think we have much to learn from our Catholic brother and sisters. Yes, I understand there are problematic things with the above statement (ex: why cling to the Eucharist when you can have the Actual Sacrament??). However, I never hear members of the Church of Jesus Christ saying that to their own doubts.  Sometimes, I feel like Catholics have more faith in their pinky fingers for their portion of half the truth than we do for th...