Pope, Integrity, and Why

“Vice is a monster of so frightful mien

As to be hated needs but to be seen;

Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face,

We first endure, then pity, then embrace.”

— Alexander Pope

 So, I don’t know how I feel about Pope overall (I like him better than Milton as poets go, #18thcforthewin), but I love this part of “An Essay on Man” which was quoted in conference a while back. I feel like Scott said something similar…probably in Ivanhoe. (I might rant on it in another vein some other day). The point is, society had lots of good ills, but when we normalize the ills, we do no one good and only pave the way for things to get worse.

Lately, I’ve seen numerous people with similar values to me, encourage behavior that contradicts everything they stand for. They usually do this in the name of “love,” but it always strikes me as hypocrisy. They believe one thing but support another. Surprise! You can support a person without supporting immoral or even generally negative behavior. Jesus said love everyone, but he also said a heck a lot of other things that involved calling people out (in a loving way) and an honesty that helped them reach their potential. There’s this thing called integrity, but I feel like it’s kind of a lost virtue. It means being honest but also implies being true to what you believe. It means standing for something, whatever people around you think or don’t think about it. Consistency in truth and action is definitely a struggle sometimes and no one's perfect. (Do I still sometimes listen to Eminem? heh...).

But here’s an example: Pretend Shakespeare and I were homies, and I found out he was cheating on his wife with the Dark Lady. Would I still go see Hamlet and congratulate him on writing such a good play? Eh, probably. Would I celebrate his getting a new apartment with his illicit boo-thing? Absolutely not. Even if all that wasn’t going down, would I tell him Romeo and Juliet was great and keep seeing it even though Mercutio has a mouth and morals to rival certain presidents *cough*? No. If he asked, I’d probably be like, “Though I loved the characters and elements of both tragedy and comedy in R&J, it’s a little raunchy for me.” If I ever, say, had to read it to a group of ninth-graders, I’d leave Mercutio’s sketchier comments out entirely and might make it clear that he is not a role model. Would that make me and Will enemies? I hope not.

So, if you have a friend who’s let drugs ruin their life, are you going to congratulate them when they get a great new dealer? Why would you be like, “Yay! Keep ruining your life, friend!” That is not helpful nor loving. Letting a kid burn their hand on an oven is apathy and neglect, not love. Congratulating an adult for doing the same is crazy. If you have a returned missionary friend, are you going to congratulate them for breaking covenants they made with God himself? Why would you? Now, obviously, you don’t seek them out and be like, repent! (Though prophets have been known to do that, and then there's Phineas...). But I don’t have to celebrate a jeopardization of their eternity. I don’t have to pity or embrace wrong. In fact, I would feel like I was being dishonest and betraying my God to not defend his truth when called upon.

If you’ve read my stuff, you know that I have a testimony of God’s unconditional love. He loves me when I suck. He loves you when you suck. He loves all his children who are breaking or keeping their covenants. But does he stop us from facing the consequences of our mistakes? Not often, because he knows we need to learn from them. Also, because he loves us so much, it would be wild for him to celebrate actions that move us away from him and block our potential. And that’s the important thing. Shocking, I know, but we are on this earth for something bigger and greater. We are here to learn to become like God. That’s it. The reason to exist. This life is a flash in eternity. So, am I going to be glad for someone who is threatening their ENTIRE PURPOSE for a flash of happiness? Will I even pretend to be glad for them? You bet not. BUT I STILL CAN LOVE THEM. I can be there for them, speak kindly of and to them, help them when they need it, listen to them; I might celebrate their other accomplishments, but I will hurt for the rest—because yes, it hurts when people you love struggle.